Mental Wellbeing & Resilience. The basics we all need

Life isn’t slowing down, your inbox isn’t magically emptying itself, and your nervous system doesn’t care whether you’ve scheduled time to breathe or not. Mental wellbeing isn’t something you “get around to.” It’s the foundation of how you show up for your work, your people, and yourself.

And resilience? It’s not the stiff-upper-lip persona many of us were raised with. It’s the quiet, sustainable capacity to bend without snapping.

Resilience. It’s Not Toughness, It’s Capacity

For years, resilience was framed as grit. Push harder. Bounce back. Don’t break. Except research doesn’t actually support that story.

Studies from the American Psychological Association show that resilience isn’t about sheer endurance. It’s about adaptability, connectedness, and healthy emotional regulation. People don’t thrive because they’re only tough. They thrive because they’re flexible, supported, self-aware, reflective and willing to shift, despite setbacks.

And here’s the part some of you may not realize. Resilience isn’t something you can magically expect to appear in a crisis. It’s something that needs to be built upon before you need it, so you bend and don't break in a crisis.

Mental Wellbeing Is a Daily Practice, Not a Fire Extinguisher

If you only check in with yourself when you’re overwhelmed, you’re essentially trying to lift a car without ever going to the gym.

You don’t develop a strong emotional core when everything’s already on fire. You build it through the small, unglamorous habits that keep your nervous system steady.

Think of wellbeing like maintenance, not repair. You don’t wait for your car to break down before you change the flat tire. Yet plenty of people wait for panic, burnout, or emotional exhaustion before they pause.

We all need to be practicing the small shifts before we reach that point. The world we’re living in demands it.

Three Areas That Actually Shift Mental Wellbeing & Resilience

Awareness

Self-awareness isn’t a nice-to-have, it’s your early-warning system. Studies, from the University of Toronto, on emotional regulation show that simply naming a feeling reduces its intensity. When you can notice your emotional weather changing, you can respond thoughtfully instead of reacting wildly. You can choose to put your rainboots on, before you step outside.

Awareness is the difference between 'I’m fine' and 'Something in me needs attention'. It’s the knowing what your triggers are, so they no longer stay as triggers. They become

information that you can build upon in a resilient, emotionally healthy way.

Boundaries

This one’s the quiet superhero. Boundaries aren’t defensive walls, they’re agreements that protect your time, energy, and emotional load. Brené Brown's work highlights that the most compassionate people are usually those with the strongest boundaries. It’s not because they care less, but because they care sustainably. It’s time to stop automatically saying ‘yes’, and time to start thinking about what is right for you in this moment, and respond in a way that honors yourself too.

FYI - People who think boundaries make them selfish (AKA people pleasers) tend to burnout faster.

Recovery

Rest isn’t indulgent. It’s biology. Your nervous system balance. It needs time to slow down & regulate. Your brain needs integration time. The National Institute of Mental Health notes that chronic stress impairs memory, decision-making, and emotional balance.

How can you recover from adversity if you don't care for yourself in calmer times? Rest is not collapse on the sofa with a screen in your face, doom scrolling. Recovery is intentional through sleep, stillness, movement, breathing, downtime & fun! It's the pause that makes everything else possible.

Common Resilience Traps

Let’s take a peak at some resilience traps, with honesty.

Over-functioning disguised as commitment

Doing everything for everyone isn’t devotion, it’s depletion with a bow on top. It’s exhausting yourself, & it’s resentment brewing because you develop a ‘no one does it for me’ story.

People-pleasing dressed as kindness

True kindness doesn’t require self-abandonment. If you’re trying to keep the peace at your own expense, that’s not kindness, that’s fear.

'I'll be fine', as avoidance

No you won’t. Not if you ignore every sign your body and mind give you without changing anything.

Simple, Powerful Practices That Strengthen Resilience

Keep these practical, realistic and non-performance based. And keep practicing!

Two-minute grounding check-ins (at realistic days/times you can commit to)

What am I feeling? What do I need? Where’s my energy?

Two minutes. No excuses.

Naming your needs out loud (or writing them down)

Your nervous system relaxes when your needs are acknowledged, even if you’re the only one who hears them. Start recognizing what you need.

Creating margins in your week

White space isn’t laziness. It’s oxygen. It’s giving yourself permission to pause & take a breath.

Asking for help early

Not when you’re drowning, but when you feel the tide rising. Start by becoming aware of what you are feeling, and what’s beneath it.

These aren’t big gestures. They’re small shifts that stack up over time, with practice.

For Leaders, Space-Holders & Coaches

Your resilience isn’t just for you, it’s a professional necessity. The container you create for others depends on the internal container you’ve built for yourself. And others feel the difference. A resilient leader, coach or space-holder listens cleaner, challenges wiser, holds deeper space and leads with steadiness.

You can’t guide people into clarity if your own foundation is cracking. You don’t need perfection, you need presence and to be present. You don’t need to have it all together, you need practices that can bring you back to center and keep you grounded.

A great reminder for me. You teach what you embody. Always.

A Gentle Challenge to Close

If you take nothing else from this, please take this:

Resilience isn’t a trait you are born with. It’s a capacity you cultivate over time.

Ask yourself, honestly, what’s one small shift you can make this week that your future self will thank you for? Start there. Practice till it sticks. Everything else builds from there.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, balanced 2026!

Laura is an ICF professional, certified life coach. She is passionate about helping people get unstuck & out of their own way. As a previous therapist, and now coach-for-life, Laura brings deep insight, experience and appreciation for people wanting to move forward with meaningful change. If you are looking for a coach to help you shine in the world, then reach out for a free discovery call, to see how coaching with Laura could help you. Rooted in therapy, powered by coaching, focused on you!

https://calendly.com/laurahaywoodcoaching/discovery-call

https://www.laurahaywoodcoaching.com