Transforming Self-Doubt into Confidence: Effective Coaching Tips for Your Mindset Shift
- Laura Haywood
- Jun 3
- 3 min read
Throughout my life I have avoided presenting and speaking in public . I was even sick/not sick when I was supposed to present in college when training to be a nurse a VERY long time ago! It wasn’t until I went through my own coach training, several years ago, that I realized I could do something about this. And I did. This is no quick fix, but a process to increase your self-confidence over time. It takes time to rewrite the negative beliefs and stories you have been telling yourself for a long time. It takes time to let go of what you ‘think’ others think about you. I have since led & co-led multiple cohorts as a faculty member/trainer for two coach training programs. I have led my own life coaching workshops and speak at networking events. Whilst, at times, my nerves may tap me on the shoulder to remind me that they are still there to some degree, I can now acknowledge them, move on, and continue what I am doing. Self-doubt, fear of public speaking, fear of what others think about you, lack of confidence. These do not have to control you. You are the only one letting these beliefs control you. I tell you this so I can share with you what helped me, in the hope that someone may find it helps them too!
It all starts with awareness. When we have awareness, we have the opportunity to change things. Start by becoming aware of when you are doubting yourself or feeling nervous. What is triggering this at this moment? What are the negative thoughts going round your head? How familiar are these negative beliefs?
Coaching tip - Keep a journal of these. Track the themes of the triggers and the themes of the thoughts. Where do these show up in your body? Body sensations can often be your first clue, alerting you to triggers before the thoughts begin
Shift your mindset! Ask yourself how true the negative thoughts are. Really challenge yourself. Do these beliefs and self-doubt actually belong to other people? Are they actually serving you now? Rewrite the negative, critical beliefs into positive, affirming statements. Start with ‘I am…’
Coaching tip – Put the most important NEW beliefs on a sticky where you can see it & read it to yourself regularly! If you start to not notice the sticky, rewrite it on a fresh sticky, or create a new affirming belief
Acknowledge your wins, strengths and progress. The more you allow yourself to acknowledge the positive, good aspects in your life, the more you will start to feel differently.
Coaching tip - Start to keep a list of these and refer to it when self-doubt creeps up again. You can also start keeping a record of positive things others say about you. Move away from focusing on the negative all the time, and focus on the positive. Pro tip – these don’t have to be ‘big’ wins. They can be as small as you like & you can build on them
Don’t get lost in perfectionism. You don’t have to be perfect and everything you do doesn’t have to be perfect. It does not exist. It will stop you taking action and you will get in your own way!
Coaching tip – Start to recognize that ‘good enough’ is realistic and what you can aim for. This can change depending upon what is going on in each given moment and what you are trying to accomplish. Sometimes it really is ok to not be striving. Have compassion for yourself. If something doesn’t turn out as you wanted it to, then you can learn and grow from it
Regrouping! If the self-doubt does creep back in, be curious about what’s going on. What is it, in this moment, that has triggered the old patterns and beliefs? If you recognize it, you can let it go. Again, show up for you from a place of compassion, not a place of negativity.
Coaching tip - Figure out a grounding strategy for yourself that can help you regroup and reset. It can be as simple as taking 3 deep breaths!
If you are struggling with self-doubt, lacking confidence, not feeling good enough and truly want to shift your mindset, then try working with a coach to help you really get unstuck and move forward
Laura Haywood is an ICF professional, certified life coach, facilitator and mentor coach. She is passionate about helping people get unstuck & out of their own way. As a previous therapist, and now coach-for-life, Laura brings deep insight, experience and appreciation for people wanting to move forward with meaningful change. If you are looking for a coach to help you shine in the world, then reach out for a free discovery call, to see how coaching with Laura could help you. Rooted in therapy, powered by coaching, focused on you!
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