The world is constantly displaying perfection in TV shows, movies, social media, ads etc… Take the Holidays, we are constantly bombarded with images of 'perfect' gatherings and dinners that few can live up to, leading to hidden feelings of inadequacy, resentment, failure or frustration. The pursuit of the perfect décor, party, dinner, weight, outfit can actually hold you back. If you are constantly striving for perfect, you can get stuck in procrastination, self-sabotage, anxiety, missing out on opportunities and it can just be emotionally exhausting. You miss out on actually enjoying what’s around you – the experiences, people, fun and memories. You can also put your idea of perfect onto those around you, without them even being aware of it. The perfectionist voice can be persistent, always whispering. If you keep believing everything, and everyone, has to be perfect, and that your worth is directly tied to the world around you being perfect, you will constantly feel let down and fear being judged. Neither you, nor others, can live up to your expectations of perfectionism.
The truth is perfect doesn’t exist! Who gets to decide how you should be in the world, and if something is 'good enough'? The best part is you do! You get to choose to start to accept that things can be good enough (and what counts as good enough can vary, depending on what’s going on in your life at any given moment) and free yourself from perfectionism.
So, how can you start to free yourself and shift away from the need for perfect, and become a recovering perfectionist? What can you do to show up as your genuine, authentic self, rather than an image from IG? You can start by embracing being good enough. Imagine how freeing it can be to remove the pressure of everything having to be perfect, of you needing to be perfect. Imagine the space and energy that opens up for being in the moment, having fun and making memories. Good enough doesn’t mean everything is half-assed. It means that getting things done is better than trying to achieve perfect, self-sabotaging yourself and feeling terrible because you are not perfect. It means something being good enough is better than procrastinating so long that nothing gets done. It means progress and moving forward is better than being stuck in old patterns that prevent progress. It means you can choose to shift your mindset to accept You Are Good Enough. It means you get to learn when things don’t go as you ‘expected’ and choose to grow, rather than being hard on yourself again. It means you allow energy and emotional space for fun, rather than being so consumed with the idea of perfect that you forget about fun. It means you can allow those around you to be themselves, rather than feeling let down because of your expectations you placed on them, without their knowledge. It means you get to have compassion for yourself. It means you get to make a mess of things and laugh about it.
How do you start? You can start by recognizing when you are striving for perfect for yourself and others. Then you get to choose how to move forward differently. Start by setting realistic expectations and allowing ‘good enough’ to become your new BFF. Start by reframing perceived mistakes as opportunities for learning. Start by bringing laughter into your world and truly embracing that it’s ok for things not to be perfect and it’s great for things to be good enough. Start by knowing your worth, accepting that it is not tied to perfect, it is tied to you showing up every day and knowing you truly are enough right now. Start by giving yourself permission to be messy, to do something you previously would have seen as imperfect and, therefore, not done it at all. I challenge you to be ‘good enough’ this Holiday season, to embrace your perceived flaws, to allow the dinner table to be good enough. Free yourself!
Wishing all of you a very happy, good enough Holiday season.
 Laura is a professional, certified life coach. She is passionate about helping people get unstuck & out of their own way. She is a collaborative & heart-based life coach. As a previous therapist, and now coach-for-life, Laura brings deep insight, experience and appreciation for people with diverse challenges. If you are looking for a coach to help you shine in the world, then reach out for a free discovery call, to see how coaching with Laura could help you. https://www.laurahaywoodcoaching.com
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